Some motivation. You are a single parent and you doubt that you need another love in your life aside from the one which you already have: love of your children. Really, why you should make your life more complicated, is not this already the case? Every single parent may have such thoughts once in a while, but here is an answer to it. People in love look better, because they feel happier and, as a result they live longer, so they can give more love to those whom they love. Or, in other terms, the very existence in this world requires a balance: if your love to your children is not balanced by your own love life, then how good is your love to your children in the first place? They sure love you, so they want you to be happy, but are you happy while you are alone? Bottom line: as a single parent you may need strong motivation for dating again, so this way (or another) you have to work it out for yourself first.
Be prepared. So, lets assume that you agree with all that is said above (or, perhaps you have other reasons), and so yes, you are going to date someone, again. Are you ready? Here are several simple checks. First, do you have any negative feelings about your former friend (husband, wife)? Get rid of them: you dont want to pass old stuff into your new relationship. Second, are you fond of yourself? Yes, you should be! If not, find a way to fix this condition, I am sure you have a plenty of reasons to change your attitude towards yourself. Value yourself, groom yourself, love yourself, those are necessary ingredients for seeking love from another person. Finally, it is possible that it was an eternity since you dated someone, many things had changed, so you need relatively gradual immersion into your new state: online dating will help you, because the pace of the process will be under your total control.
Are money an issue? So, lets assume that you have your motivation and you are ready, but there is still one more issue left unclear, that is, money. You dont feel like dating is something that you can afford right now. This is where online dating gives you one of its best features: the very low level of spending with great outcomes. The only thing that you have to pay is your membership fee, which is by all means a modest expense. After that you will have an access to thousands of profiles, you can contact tens of candidates, you can afford the finest search you need: an impossible venture if you would try it in a live mode! Besides, if you like, you can sign-up to a single parent dating network and find someone special right in your area.
Your children and you. Yes, what about them: do you have to keep your dating secret from them? No, you better tell your kids from the start that you are looking for a date. You have to be exemplary for them, even in this business of grownups. Keep them posted about your meetings: where you are going and what to do in case if you will be late. Be prepared that at some occasions your children may even attempt to control your dating life. Do not let them to prevent your dates, they might be driven by a simple jealousy, but this will pass. Do not let them tell you whom you should meet and whom you should not: this is your life and decisions are yours.
About your new friend and your kids. Your dating eventually will bring you a stable relationship. So time will come to introduce your new friend to your kids. You have to avoid any surprises, prepare them for that first, tell them about him or her. The first meeting must be short. An incidental encounter at cinema (or any other place which your kids love to go to) would be a good idea. Next time you can make it a little longer. Getting used to each other takes time, so pushing any side toward the other is a bad idea: everything must come in natural way. You have to be patient, and you have to make your children understand that there is nothing there that will change your love, care and devotion to them. You have to be open and sincere with your kids and after first meetings ask their opinion about your new friend.
You and your new friend children. Before meeting with the children of your new friend, you have to know about them as much as you can (or, at least, something). Set the first meeting on the neutral grounds, i.e. not in their home, so they will not feel threatened as if you are trying to take their living space from them. Absolutely abstain from saying or showing anything negative about their other parent. Be natural, do not deem this meeting as a vital event of your life (even if this is the case). Bring some presents (nothing too cheap, nothing too expensive), it is always good to ask your friend what will be a good thing to bring to the kids. You have to be friendly, even if the child is cold with you, because you are the one who is a grownup. And be yourself, because children will feel any pretence a mile away. With all that handled in a thoughtful and leveled manner you will succeed.
Thats it! Oops, I almost forgot one more thing. Do not rush into getting married again, just give it some time, and good luck! - 15615
Be prepared. So, lets assume that you agree with all that is said above (or, perhaps you have other reasons), and so yes, you are going to date someone, again. Are you ready? Here are several simple checks. First, do you have any negative feelings about your former friend (husband, wife)? Get rid of them: you dont want to pass old stuff into your new relationship. Second, are you fond of yourself? Yes, you should be! If not, find a way to fix this condition, I am sure you have a plenty of reasons to change your attitude towards yourself. Value yourself, groom yourself, love yourself, those are necessary ingredients for seeking love from another person. Finally, it is possible that it was an eternity since you dated someone, many things had changed, so you need relatively gradual immersion into your new state: online dating will help you, because the pace of the process will be under your total control.
Are money an issue? So, lets assume that you have your motivation and you are ready, but there is still one more issue left unclear, that is, money. You dont feel like dating is something that you can afford right now. This is where online dating gives you one of its best features: the very low level of spending with great outcomes. The only thing that you have to pay is your membership fee, which is by all means a modest expense. After that you will have an access to thousands of profiles, you can contact tens of candidates, you can afford the finest search you need: an impossible venture if you would try it in a live mode! Besides, if you like, you can sign-up to a single parent dating network and find someone special right in your area.
Your children and you. Yes, what about them: do you have to keep your dating secret from them? No, you better tell your kids from the start that you are looking for a date. You have to be exemplary for them, even in this business of grownups. Keep them posted about your meetings: where you are going and what to do in case if you will be late. Be prepared that at some occasions your children may even attempt to control your dating life. Do not let them to prevent your dates, they might be driven by a simple jealousy, but this will pass. Do not let them tell you whom you should meet and whom you should not: this is your life and decisions are yours.
About your new friend and your kids. Your dating eventually will bring you a stable relationship. So time will come to introduce your new friend to your kids. You have to avoid any surprises, prepare them for that first, tell them about him or her. The first meeting must be short. An incidental encounter at cinema (or any other place which your kids love to go to) would be a good idea. Next time you can make it a little longer. Getting used to each other takes time, so pushing any side toward the other is a bad idea: everything must come in natural way. You have to be patient, and you have to make your children understand that there is nothing there that will change your love, care and devotion to them. You have to be open and sincere with your kids and after first meetings ask their opinion about your new friend.
You and your new friend children. Before meeting with the children of your new friend, you have to know about them as much as you can (or, at least, something). Set the first meeting on the neutral grounds, i.e. not in their home, so they will not feel threatened as if you are trying to take their living space from them. Absolutely abstain from saying or showing anything negative about their other parent. Be natural, do not deem this meeting as a vital event of your life (even if this is the case). Bring some presents (nothing too cheap, nothing too expensive), it is always good to ask your friend what will be a good thing to bring to the kids. You have to be friendly, even if the child is cold with you, because you are the one who is a grownup. And be yourself, because children will feel any pretence a mile away. With all that handled in a thoughtful and leveled manner you will succeed.
Thats it! Oops, I almost forgot one more thing. Do not rush into getting married again, just give it some time, and good luck! - 15615
About the Author:
Des has one Ph.D. and one M.S., which are irrelevant to the major subject of his writing: relationships, personals and dating. To contact Des, see his other articles and access library of ebooks and other materials on online dating, finding your love online, writing personal profiles, meeting singles and keeping strong relationships, or for single mom/dad web dating networks, visit Orbiana Web Dating Directory .
