I could tell you horror stories from my childhood. Im guessing that these days, the majority of us could. I could be wrong, but I doubt any of us escaped childhood without scars from some sort of dysfunction. I will just say that I endured abuse.
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My lack of self-love and trust issues ruined my first marriage. Which in turn almost ruined me. I had sworn that I would never put my children through unhappy parents or a divorce. But I did not know how to do anything different! The raw truth is that we live what we learn until the pain becomes so intense that we either change or cave. I caved, and then changed.
Getting rid of the insecurities and fears of my ego will be a lifelong process. But I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. And, in contrast to the average 2nd marriage stats, mine is going really well. I credit this to being willing to look at my own faults.
I have always been aware of my deep-seated insecurities. I felt unlovable and insignificant. Though I knew there must be a better way and that I was meant to feel joy, I couldn't find tactile answers. I looked to my religion, and was open to any new teaching or method that didn't conflict with my beliefs.
I won't go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn't ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy - 15615
I grew up with an alcoholic father. This left me with more pity for him than anger. He tried to the best of his ability to teach us good values. As is typical, his addiction and relative lack of social skills left him distant, unreliable, and angry. Our family situation left my mother depressed emotionally distant as well. I was the oldest of 6 children, and felt responsible for the happiness and well-being of everyone. I am not looking for sympathy here. In fact, I am grateful for my experiences, as they have given me an empathetic perspective and determination. I did not enter adulthood without scars.
My lack of self-love and trust issues ruined my first marriage. Which in turn almost ruined me. I had sworn that I would never put my children through unhappy parents or a divorce. But I did not know how to do anything different! The raw truth is that we live what we learn until the pain becomes so intense that we either change or cave. I caved, and then changed.
Getting rid of the insecurities and fears of my ego will be a lifelong process. But I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. And, in contrast to the average 2nd marriage stats, mine is going really well. I credit this to being willing to look at my own faults.
I have always been aware of my deep-seated insecurities. I felt unlovable and insignificant. Though I knew there must be a better way and that I was meant to feel joy, I couldn't find tactile answers. I looked to my religion, and was open to any new teaching or method that didn't conflict with my beliefs.
I won't go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn't ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Gratitude. Yes, we can all be grateful for something on any given day, and probably in any given hour. If you start feeling sorry for yourself again, think of the approximately 5 billion people in this world right now that you wouldn't trade places with!
You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.
I don't want to sound as if I am judging anyone who is lost in depression for whatever reason. I have been there. I know that healing sometimes takes time and work. My hope is to get even one person there faster than me. Time is wasting. Start living life the way God intended. "Men are that they might have joy - 15615
About the Author:
Laurice is a mother of eight, entrepreneur and business trainer. Please click on the link to learnhow you can incorporate healing through a home business
