I endured abuse as a child. I'm sure most people today have some scars from some sort of dysfunction in their early family life. My purpose here is not to tell horror stories, but I will tell you about how it has affected my life.
My father has always been an alcoholic. Rather than being angry with him, I felt a bit sorry for him. He is a good father to the extent that he can be. He taught us some good values. But, his addiction and relative lack of social skills led him to be distant, unreliable and angry. My mother was perpetually depressed about the whole family situation, and was therefore not very emotionally present herself. As the oldest of 6 children, I felt responsible for everyone's happiness and well-being. I'm not looking for sympathy. Actually, I am grateful for my trials and the empathy and determination they have given me. I won't deny that my childhood left me with scars, however.
I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
I won't go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn't ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn't want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.
You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.
Believe me, I am not judging anyone who may be depressed, or has gone through difficult circumstances and is not happy. I have been there. I know that pain, and the work it sometimes takes to get through. I'm just hoping that my experience will help someone get to joy a little faster. It is how life was meant to be lived. "Men are that they might have joy. - 15615
My father has always been an alcoholic. Rather than being angry with him, I felt a bit sorry for him. He is a good father to the extent that he can be. He taught us some good values. But, his addiction and relative lack of social skills led him to be distant, unreliable and angry. My mother was perpetually depressed about the whole family situation, and was therefore not very emotionally present herself. As the oldest of 6 children, I felt responsible for everyone's happiness and well-being. I'm not looking for sympathy. Actually, I am grateful for my trials and the empathy and determination they have given me. I won't deny that my childhood left me with scars, however.
I ruined my first marriage because of my lack of trust and self-love. I had sworn that I would never bring children into this life to endure unhappy parents and divorce, and yet found myself in that very situation. The pain of it almost killed me, but I emerged ready to learn and change.
Although healing is a lifelong process, I can say that I can talk about my past now without tears. Opposing statistics on marriages, my second marriage is really good. I believe this is because I took a good hard look at what I needed to change, and how to work through my ego and get to my true self.
Although I have always recognized my severe insecurities of being less-than or unlovable, I had no idea how to actually change them. I turned to my Christian beliefs first. Trusting in Christ while also being open to new teachings and methodology that aligned with my beliefs offered hope.
I won't go into each of them in detail, as I would have to write a book (maybe I will). I have found yoga, meditation, service to others, extreme exercise (marathons, 100-200 mile bike rides, tri-athlons) a business that helps me personally and financially, and loving 8 children unconditionally to be helpful in my journey of healing. I wish I would have learned long ago what I know now through my business that has taught me a lot about the Law of Attraction. Maybe I wasn't ready to accept these concepts until now. Its funny how life throws things your way when it does.
Healing really only takes a decision. It sounds too simple, I know. It's changing your beliefs so that you can make the decision to be happy that takes the time and effort (well for most). It's that we get some sort of "peanut prize" for not letting our offenders off the hook by being totally free of the harm they've done. Well, guess what? You are not hurting them by holding on. You didn't put them on the hook, and you can't let them off. You can however, let yourself off, and decide to be happy. Be grateful for the good things, and move forward.
Think of the 5 billion people who share this planet who you wouldn't want to trade places with? Gratitude! I would dare say that in any given hour of your day there is somethin to be grateful for.
You are a human being, not a human DOING. So, stop trying to do things to make yourself feel better. Just BE. We learned more about what this means when visiting Ethiopia to get our two youngest children. In the face of poor living conditions, lack of food, and an orphan epidemic due to AIDS, most people were happy. They had discovered through tough circumstance that it is not circumstance that determines happiness, it is your mindset (or soulset), and a decision to be happy.
Believe me, I am not judging anyone who may be depressed, or has gone through difficult circumstances and is not happy. I have been there. I know that pain, and the work it sometimes takes to get through. I'm just hoping that my experience will help someone get to joy a little faster. It is how life was meant to be lived. "Men are that they might have joy. - 15615
About the Author:
Laurice is a mother of eight, business owner and business trainer. Please click on the link to learnhow you can incorporate healing through a home business
