Saturday, January 3, 2009

Should You Use the Internet to Start Dating?

By Mary Bush

If you've watched television in the last few years you have probably seen plenty of commercials advertising one of the many internet dating sites. A decade ago (while secretly joining them) most people viewed these sites with the same sneer that they once viewed personal ads in the newspaper. To be sure, there are a lot of people trying to speed up the process of meeting Mr/Mrs Right.

Nobody enjoys the process of going out and trying to find someone to date. There is something decidedly smarmy about going out on the town and looking over all of the people surrounding you the same way you might gaze over the produce section looking for just the right tomato. Instantly judging people can't quite be helped, but everyone has had at least one night out at a bar or club or even a coffee shop in which they looked over all of the potential mates in the room and thought "no, no, fat, weird, ugly hair, no fashion sense, huge backside, no, no, maybe, nice eyes," etc.

Many people turn to the internet to avoid just this situation. Perusing profiles on a dating website feels a little bit less "icky" than perusing people who are standing right in front of you. In the privacy of your own home you can spend hours poring over profiles, pictures and google-ing each potential date you think is worth spending time getting to know. It can absolutely save you time. At the same time, though-is using the internet to help speed up your dating process a good idea?

Most people love the internet because it gives them anonymity. You can be anyone you want on the internet. Thanks to image searches and Photoshop, a 600lb single 50+ man can pretend to be a fit, trim and extra busty 22 year old woman. Until you meet the person face to face, you won't know if you are dating your future spouse or have just gone out for the evening who, even at age 33, still lives at home and lets their mother sew their name into their underwear.

Of course, not everybody is able to find that perfect someone in line for coffee or while waiting for the bus. Others don't want to take the chance that it won't happen naturally. Still others just like to date and find the internet the easiest way to keep up a steady stream of date nights.

Remember that the internet, however innocuous it seems now, is still a place where caution is key. Take your time getting to know the people you meet on dating websites. Talk a few times and arrange to meet somewhere for the first few dates. Always have a friend on speed dial who can bail you out if the date starts going nowhere fast. You will be happier in the long run! - 15615